If you become a professional athlete do you lose the ability to think at a fifth grade level off of the playing field? So many “Big Timers” (remember that group? What ever happened to them?) these days for some reason can not function at a fifth grade mentality. Present any fifth grader with the following situations and I am positive the vast majority will answer the question correctly. It brings new meaning to the phrase “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?”
Say hello to my little friend
Say hello to my little friend
THE GILBERT SITUATION:
Aside from special forces and cops, would you ever think of bringing a gun to work? What would happen if you did? Yeah, you would probably be taken away in the back of a squad car with cuffs on.
OK, so you did not want to have the guns around your kids, I applaud Gilbert for thinking of his family. Yet, if you are not going to have the guns at home to protect yourself, then why have the guns at all? At least you thought the situation was funny. Were you thinking of your families well being, with all of this income you are about to lose?
PLAX
As a resident in the state of New York and a professional athlete, you know the gun laws. The fact that you shot yourself and ended up in jail, well I hate to say you deserved it. Carrying a gun, not to mention a loaded gun around with you in NYC is like downing a handle of Jack and then doing donuts in your local police departments parking lot. Yeah, its not to smart. So you were afraid of getting jumped. Hire security, its not like you can’t afford it. I bet one less trip to the Gentlemen’s club a week will cover the cost.
Vick and his IQ
You are a professional quarterback. You are well liked by your fans. You are a baller worth millions upon millions. How can you be so dumb to have buildings, kennels, and remains of dog fights in your backyard. If you are going to fight dogs, at least do it off of your own property, and cover your own ass. (Not saying its ok). You are asking to get caught having these on your own property Its like walking through an airport with a bag of weed. Wait, you did that as well. Hmmmmm not much going on up top, is there?
No mulligans for marriage
No mulligans for marriage
TIGER, a CHEETAH
Yes, you were the first athlete to ever make a billion dollars. Yes, you are the greatest thing that happened to golf. Yes, you messed up. I think the problem around you is there are two many yes men. A man of Tigers, stature has many people helping him. It is Tigers team . I am guessing these guys are probably so afraid of Tiger that they can’t say no to him. My question to Tiger, I am sure there are many more women that are not coming forward in which you had sex with. Did you really think you could get away with this? How many more are there? You have a super model as your wife and more money that you know what to do with. You have kids, and you are selfish. Way to screw up your perfect reputation. Isn’t golf supposed to be a gentleman’s sport, not a gentleman’s club? Way to keep it classy.
Nice neck wrinkles
Nice neck wrinkles
McGwire paging captain OBIVIOUS
“I swear it is nothing but Creatine and Andro.” Mark, I think it is common sense that when you put on 75lbs of muscle, there is something else. The fact that you did not get caught, well you were lucky. The fact that you acted like such a pansy when you came out, well it was funny to watch. Really when you came out, you were just reinforcing what we all knew. And the record now goes back to Aaron. Maybe Marc Echo can brand an asterisk on your record breaking baseball.
Yes the list could go on and on. I could write thousands of these. Who is next? Eli or Payton Manning? Dwight Howard? Derek Jeter? Who ever it is, I am not surprised.
